A 'family church' can be exclusive

"It is not "family churches" but "church families" that the world needs." Peter Storey, Listening at Golgotha

In preparing for Good Friday I am reading Peter Storey's book on the last seven words of Jesus on the cross. He makes the above statement that makes the subtle difference between the fashionable 'family church' that stresses the family unit above else. The danger with this strategy is that those not in a family unit feel left out. Those who chose not to marry feel left out. Those who could never get married feel left out. Those who could not have children feel left out. The true definition is to say that we are a 'church family' in that everybody sees themselves as a child in the family of God the church.

Christmas family likeness

Another Christmas around the corner. A time with people we were born with. A time with people we got involved with through marriage and maybe a time with those friends we accrued through life’s interests. That yearly community that sits around the table with silly coloured hats, crackers and turkey drumsticks. Every year those Christmas photographs look exactly the same. The only differences are issues of weight gain, greying hair, and baldness. A strange community it is. Yours no doubt very different to mine. I sometimes think I can do without it. Just give me sandy beaches, blue sky and a fishing rod ! But, there is something about that group of present swopping folk that reminds me what I look like and where I come from. The group that formed my initial reference point for life, its questions and answers and will no doubt be the ones who will wrap up my end?

Family Growth

Family - a model for Church growth. Amongst all the other ways we acknowledge we can do Church, the fundamental building blocks in a Church are the relationships that comprise the whole. It is better to strengthen relationships than it is to strengthen programmes. The family growth model could be the answer in creating a paradigm that continually puts the focus back onto the Church as family whose role is to equip each other to fulfill their part in the greater picture of things. When Melluish speaks about building the family unit he speaks about being a team, having family time, setting family jobs, create family traditions, being together. The translation into Church growth dynamics is obvious. When Church members work as a team, spend family time together, differentiate their Godly chores, establish traditions that bring family identity the roots of that Church would be strong and long lasting. The young would grow from that Church with a sense that it is family. They would be sad to leave its precincts and they would return each holiday to share their good and bad news. Family is family for life.

Grandmother logic

The patterns set by parents for their children in the younger years are the habitual center for life. That subconscious guide that prompts us along the road of life is often the voice of our parents, although not their voice now but ours. We often find ourselves returning back to the paths of our younger days or spending as much time as we can away from them, all depending on our experience. The more time we spend nurturing our young children in the church the better chance we have of them returning to its doors later in life. ‘Family time’ could be a key pillar in ensuring the future success of the Church. I wonder if we saw each other as a Grandmother, Father, Brother, Mother, Sister of each other in the church what a difference that would make. The biblical injunction that the Church is our family is an important one. Many of us know that our family life back home is dysfunctional in some way. Work constraints prevent us from spending the amount of time we ought with children and spouse or we are a single parent struggling to be a role model for our kids. If we see ourselves in the Church as family we can often fill the gap for others. It could be that our greatest ministry is finding how and with whom we can be a family member with. Who needs to be mothered, go and mother them? Who needs the wisdom of a grandfather, go and be a grandfather?

Father Son and Family Goat

The prodigal son parable is a picture of the typical family. It portrays the complexity of emotions and situations many families are threatened with. The human heart is volatile and restless for fulfillment and for acceptance. This human condition is a constant threat to the family structure. In reading the story one is aware of many incidents in ones own family that have similar trace elements. Not exactly the same, each family is a complex network of past, present and future happenings all playing themselves out with open and hidden agendas. Not one of the characters in reality can stand as a picture of absolute stability and integrity. The hopelessness often felt in family situations is the realization that we are all fracture beings trying to mend our lives whilst at the same time trying to mend our relationships and world. Where one son is finding life in the family another is cutting himself off. Lessons are learnt in each sons scenario, the first sons learnt humility through past mistakes and the second son learning a father’s ways of appreciation. A parable is limited in what it can say, but it should not go without the thought that the father may learn something from his sons too. In the next chapter of this parable it could be the father who learns how to show his feelings and celebrate the joy of a son that was always there with him. The prescribed meaning of this parable is the lesson of the lost soul returning home, but the unofficial version could be the lesson of how to celebrate the relationships that are constantly before our eyes.